Tears of Joy and Sorrow

Right now I’m in a slump. Everyday is the same. My days seem to crowd together and I feel the weight of the world on my back. I feel strong but weak at the same time. I feel three little ones calling out my name. A wad of gum on our hardwood floors and spilled juice on the table. Phone calls to return and emails that need to be typed. And… mounds and mounds of paperwork to attend to.

You see right now I’m in the middle of something so incredibly important. One that has shaken me at moments. Brought me to tears of joy and sorrow. I feel so incredibly grateful that I’m able to fight this fight but frustrated with the never ending details. We are finally in the process of adopting Nevaeh. Our sweet Nevaeh. She deserves this permanent security. Without question we are doing the right thing for our family. From the bottom of my soul I feel at peace.

Sometimes you just want to escape the harsh reality. Whether I like it or not the whole situation will always feel bittersweet. I will always feel sadness for my sister. No matter how many lies she tells. Whatever life she lives I know I’m doing the greatest thing I can for her. I used to wish that things were different but I can no longer do that. Instead I’m thankful for my daughter who knows me as her mommy and I wish nothing but the best for my sister. I wish her nothing but happiness. 

Comments

  1. says

    Oh Beth I know what a struggle your emotions must be putting you through. But oh how excited I am for you and your family. What a blessing you are to each other.

  2. says

    You may feel weak at times but you are one of the strongest women I know with the biggest heart. Just think, one day you will look back and be so glad you jumped through all these hoops to give Nevaeh the security of your family. She is lucky to have you guys and you are lucky to have her ❤️

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